Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Kitten Turned Mob Boss

By The Purress
Merriam, KS

A local foster student is being accused of being part of the Meowfia.  Joseph J. Gandolfini, age 4 months is being accused of running an illegal cat wrestling ring.  It is alleged that Gandolfini, also known as Joey would accept bets on wrestling matches and then ask one of the wrestlers throw the match.

Confetti, one of the wrestlers had this to say when asked, "Mr. Joey taught me all these cool moves.  Then when he would give me a wink, I was to go limp and play dead.  It was such a fun game!"

Joey is also accused of running a catnip ponzi scheme.  Gus Carlson, the CEO of Purr's Training Acatemy where Joey attends school says that Joey approached him about investing in his catnip business. 

"Joey said once he had my money he would plant the catnip and it would be ready for distribution within two days.  Anyone knowing basic science know that catnip doesn't grow that quickly.  Plus, we live in Kansas.  We just had our first freeze.  Nothing will grow this time of year."

When asked for a comment on these charges and his possible leadership role in the Meowfia, Joey said "This is all fake news."  Later Joey released an official statement.  It can be read here.  Official Statement from Joey

At the time of printing this story, no official charges have been made against Joey.  His foster mom said Joey is looking for his forever home so that he can escape the pawpurrazi and start a life on the straight and narrow.

Those interested in helping Joey leave his life of crime by adopting Joey can contact Great Plains SPCA's foster manager at kthurbon@greatplainsspca.org.

5 comments :

  1. Joey, we think you're being framed! Hopefully you can find a family that will help prove your innocence.

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  2. Joey is such a cutie. Clearly it was all fake news :)

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  3. That sounds like fake news obviously ! Purrs

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  4. JOey, we know it wasn't you! It's a con job!!!

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